Stupid Smart Cat and Crappy Sleep Patterns

So here I am at 0500, awake and dressed and making a cinnamon-raisin bagel to go with my hot tea, after only having been in bed for about five hours and asleep for about four.  It takes me awhile to fall asleep, especially at the end of the day.  It’s particularly difficult if I’ve been on a great writing spree for several hours, because I don’t want to quit.

When I settle down to write, it usually it takes me a while to relax, quit surfing the internet for cool t-shirts, get off Facebook and YouTube, etc.  Last night’s distraction, courtesy of John, was “Call Me Maybe” as performed by Steve Cardynal.  It was distracting, but useful, since I was pretty tired and it woke me up.  I was surprised that the kids didn’t come into the living room to see what was so funny.

I worked Sunday night, a twelve-hour shift as usual, and only had about two hours of sleep on Monday. I had decided to be a Daywalker this week so I could get MirtaGev to his new student orientation at ASU, and also do some shopping in Little Rock before getting Wafflecopter at his dad’s house on Wednesday.  I had an appointment with my doc to refill my allergy meds, and then I did a little back-to-school shopping, which included a 3-ring binder and parchment-colored card stock to make my “Secret World” reference folder.  (I’m sure I’ll do a post on this later.)  I also thought that perhaps I would devote a little time and energy to planning meals and grocery shopping, and maybe even cooking a few meals.  The big thing, however, was spending the early part of the day playing “The Secret World” with EdEnder, because he starts school next week and our gaming will come to a grinding halt.  I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could before all the school busy-ness starts next week.

That grand plan is now in the garbage, thanks to EdEnder’s beloved cat, Titan.  Just to provide some background, we have four cats, one from an animal rescue (Bella), two from the humane society (Titan and Lily), and one from a friend who picked him up on the side of the road (Sasquatch).  Yes, we have six people, four cats, and a dog (Dakota) in our household… and next month we’re adding a baby, Rory Skye.  The house is pretty big, so we’re not as crowded as you might think.

Back to Titan.  He is a grey tabby, and he is the pride lord of the house.  He is in charge of the other cats.  For example, if Sasquatch (the biggest) starts playing too roughly with Lily (the smallest), then Titan will move in and smack him around.  Any time he is aware of dissension between the other cats, he jumps into the fray and makes everyone behave.  He is also very sweet, never pulls out his claws when playing with people, and is generally well behaved.

He has one major flaw, and it’s all EdEnder’s fault, because he spoiled him.  Titan wants somebody in the kitchen when he is eating.  The food bowls are on the little freezer, so the dog can’t eat all the cat food and disgust us all with his digestive abnormalities.  For some reason, early on in his life with us, EdEnder petted Titan whenever he was eating.  On one hand, I have to admire this cat’s smarts, because he knows that if there are people in the kitchen, then there will be food in the bowl.  On the other hand, It’s Pavlov all over again, except that WE are the dog.  Or rather, Ed is, because I refuse to be trained by cats.

This cat, when he wants to eat in the middle of the night, will come scratch on our bed.  He either scratches on the side of the mattress, or he’ll poke a claw or two in my beautiful cloth padded headboard.  I don’t mean to make it sound like he’s tearing things up.  He’s not.  He only scratches just enough to get someone’s attention.  99% of the time, I sleep like a log, especially since I take 15 mg of melatonin before I go to bed.  Ed is a light sleeper; I am not.  He wakes easily and falls back to sleep easily.  I don’t fall asleep easily at all, and I’m usually a pretty solid sleeper… unless, however, that damned cat scratches on something in the middle of the night.

Just like a parent will wake up at any of the slightest noises a baby makes, I will wake up at the sound of his infernal scratching, even if it’s only one little “scritch.”  He stated it and I kind of woke up, because he was doing it repeatedly on EdEnder’s side of the bed.  Ed, being a light sleeper, woke up and stopped him from doing it, which is what really work me up (him moving around in bed, that is).  EdEnder did NOT get out of bed to do whatever the cat wanted.  Titan quit for an unknown length of time, then came over to MY side of the bed and scratched on the mattress.  Of course, this was exactly when I was drifting off to sleep again.

After I wake up, and something interrupts me falling asleep again, there is no going back.  This is exacerbated by the fact that I work nights, and my brain is totally okay with being up at 0400.  So is my stomach.  I might have been able to fall back asleep, even with my brain reminding me of all I wanted to do today, and what was coming up in the next chapter, but my stomach immediately demanded to be fed.  This is not minor stomach growling that I could easily ignore.  This was “Feed me now, wench, or I’ll be feasting on your spleen.”

So, I got up, at 0430.  Yes, I had four hours of sleep.  Plus the two I had yesterday morning, that makes a grand total of six in forty-eight hours.  I used to lie in bed for hours and rage, but now I just get up.  I put on my jog-bra, running skirt, and a t-shirt, then made myself a bagel and a cup of hot tea (Twinings Darjeeling, yum).

I am a little irritated that my game time with EdEnder is the thing that will be sacrificed today, because I’m going to need a four to six hour nap.  I’m going to spend the time he’s at work writing, so that means that this morning I will do my ViniYoga, go for a run around the lake, and do household chores.

Guess who’s not sleeping in the bedroom for the rest of the week?  Ed will be sad, but that’s better than having an sleep-deprived, irrational, angry wife.

The Evil Sleep-Steeling Monster

Time for that yoga.


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